I've learned some important things in the past few days, but one of the most profound realizations that I've had is just how much God cares about $1.35. Let me explain: We've had family staying with us since December 23, visiting for the holidays. My wife's grandma, grandpa, and great-grandma made the trip from Georgia to share Christmas and New Years with us. Her great-grandma, everyone calls her Big Mama...she's the head of 5 generations, she's 90 and in failing health, but the doctors gave her the ok to make the trip. This past Saturday while she was sitting in the living room, her heart stopped. Everyone acted heroically, calling 911 and performing CPR until the EMT's arrived. They had to shock her heart three times and were finally able to revive her. She has been on the ventilator since that time, and has steadily showed signs of improvement. Whether she's able to recover from this point on or not is still very much a concern, but the circumstances leading up to this present state are what I want to focus on. In tragedy it's easy to focus on the negative, blaming God or someone else for the misfortune, and asking the tough, "Why God," questions seems to be natural in the greiving process. I can't help but see the hand of God in almost every facet of these circumstances. I think about how they were supposed to be heading to a remote part of Oklahoma to visit more family, but stayed and were able to have almost instant access to EMT's and the best hospitals in the area. I think about how Shannon and I made a "random" trip to Target with her little brothers just before the event, which I believe protected them from seeing the chaos and helped eliminate the possibility of added confusion. I think about how the EMT's were even able to resisitate her, allowing family more time to process the events and cope, rather than have the tragic end right there in the living room. There are so many little things that seemingly "fell" into place. Even if she isn't able to recover, I can still see God's goodness through all of the chaos. The most profound thing to me, again, is found in the tiny details. Shannon's grandma has been at the hospital day and night, not even leaving once. The first night we were at the hospital we hadn't had the opportunity yet to get any dollars for the vending machines, and she really wanted a soda to drink. None of us had any dollars or change, but she looked in her coin purse and she found exatly the $1.35 in change she needed for the vending machine. That spoke to me of the immense concern that God has for us, even in the details. His hand was so in control of the situation that He knew she'd need a drink, and it would cost $1.35, so He made sure she had it. Simple Application: Are you trusting God for the details? He is faithful and active in our lives, and many times we miss his loving care over us because we don't pay attention to the details!

Shannon returned home yesterday! It was so great to see her again. I can now go back to being a fully functioning adult. Anyway, welcome home love.

Shannon has been in Georgia now since last Thursday, visiting her family, and I'm realizing just how pathetic I am without her. I can't sleep at night, I'm eating way too much fast food, I'm bored out of my mind, and I'm basically barely functioning in general. And I've got another week of this still ahead of me! Hopefully I can make it.

Yesterday we got a call from Georgia (home for Shannon) that her great-grandmother, everyone calls her "Big Mama", was desperately needing prayer because she was very near the end. So, we made the necessary arrangements and Shannon boarded a plane yesterday to be able to spend some time with her before she passes. As of right now, I don't have any updates, other than that she is doing much better-but still very serious. I was struck by the fact that Shannon has never lost a close family member before, and, when I think of it, my grandfather passing away a few years ago was a first for me as well. Surprisingly, it never gets any easier losing loved ones, even when they've lived a long fruitful life. I'm reminded every time I feel the pain of losing a loved one just how broken humanity is apart from God. It's almost like our pain is humanity's way of shouting out the truth at the center of life-that we weren't created to experience this! Even our bodies know, at some level, the original plan of creation. We might get better at dealing with death, but we were never really supposed to experience it, and I think that's why it's always a shock. If anything, death reminds us of our broken nature. It tells us that our existence needs fixing, and death is just a glimpse and symptom of the separation of humanity from God. I can only hope in the fact that Christ came to bring that redemption, and make us fully alive in God! So, in the next few days while we wait, we'll be reminding ourselves of that hope, and hopefully be able to find the peace he promises while we trust in him. Pray for Shannon and her family.

I'm reading the book, "Love and Respect," by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, and it is somewhat of an answer to prayer. I had heard of the book, but never read it-mostly because I wasn't married; on September 29, 2007, that changed and so did my need to really understand how to be a good husband. Which is a completely new dimension of my life that, although I'm a Pastor and Christian, I was utterly unprepared for. Here are some key thoughts that I needed to remind myself of: "We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate," "His love motivates her respect and her respect motivates his love." The author goes beyond the common themes of communication barriers and I feel pinpoints the cycle of conflict that my wife and I sometimes find ourselves in: "Without love she reacts without respect; without respect he reacts without love." I highly recommend this book to anyone. The foundational scripture the author uses for this book is Ephesians 5:33, "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." I'm anxious to read through it with Shannon.