Faking and Fixing

I've found myself without a true sense of the divine for some time now. I think the pressures of life and the reality of the harshness of it have given a sobering glimpse into the secrets of what remains in my heart when all the faking has been given in the offering of saving face. I'm amazed again at the ease in which repentance gives way to pretending, exposing the pride of self-vindication to be nothing more than failed attempts to prove to others that redemption happened. Honesty is the enemy when the truth doesn't line up with the image and the lie becomes the closest companion. Appearance is the cousin to first impressions and must be maintained with spotless perfection, in order to stay strong. I'm finding that people work harder at looking right than being right, when being right is a free gift of grace that can't be earned no matter how hard it's worked for. The path to right standing with God isn't something that needs our legalistic and guilt-ridden practices to be maintained, and by thinking righteousness needs our help we only perpetuate the cycle of guilt and legalism that lead to faking. I'm not saying that righteousness doesn't produce righteous actions, because obviously right actions will be birthed from righteousness. What I am saying is that righteous acts don't guarantee righteousness. There is only one righteous deed that matters: Christ offering his sinless life in our place to make us righteous. I think I'm getting closer to the point in my life with Christ that I'm beginning to trust His righteousness given to me more than I am my ability to work for it, or even maintain it. I'm tired of guilt being used as a motivation for righteousness. I want Christ's unbelievable love that was displayed to us while we were still sinners to be the motivation for accepting his grace and living a life pleasing to Him. I'm tired of legalism being pushed on people more than people being taught to accept Christ's work for their righteousness. I want to experience all that God has for me, and in that desire I have no problem sacrificing certain things, to focus my attention and my affections. If I feel God leading me to not watch television and instead devote myself to prayer or Bible reading, I'll do it to His glory, but I won't dare criticize someone for watching TV. Get my point? It's my opinion that God doesn't receive any glory from a hard-legalist. Their "righteousness" is their reward and God is left somewhere out of the equation. The whole point I wanted to make with this rant is that I'm tired of being forced into pretending when all I want to do is repent! I blame the system that makes us think we have to earn favor with God for giving us the false sense that we have to choose between faking and fixing. As Christ followers, we must trust His work and quit adding things that make our salvation conditional and weak. Simple Application: Are you working too hard on your image, rather than trusting in Christ's gift of righteousness to you?