Has anyone read that story in Mark 8:22-26 where Jesus encounters a blind man who was in need of healing? The story goes that Jesus spit on his eyes..that's an interesting component in itself...and then asked if he could see. The man said, "I see men, for I am seeing them like trees, walking about." Apparently Jesus' miracle didn't work on the first try, so he again laid his hands on him and, this time, he could see. What is the point of this story? Why would Mark seek to include it in his gospel. Especially in a gospel that emphasizes the "events" of Jesus' life rather than extensive depth in his teachings. Wouldn't this second attempt at a miracle undermine the purpose of Mark to show that Jesus was indeed the Son of God, with all authority to not only perfrom miracles, but also to save? If you know anything of the structure of Mark, you'll notice all throughout the book certain "bookends" that sandwich truth. There's an opening event or theme followed by some "unpacking" and then closed with something similar to the opening. In this case we have the opening being the healing of a blind man at Bethsaida (8:22-26) followed by some teaching and closed again with another healing of a blind man in 10:46-52. So, what's the point? In the opening healing, you have a blind man who is "healed" but still can't see clearly, requiring Jesus to do it again. Jesus was giving his disciples an object lesson, one that they obviously didn't understand. He was trying to relate to them the truth of how they aren't seeing things "clearly". Immediately after this "unclear" healing, Jesus begins telling his disciples about his death, and what does Peter do? He protests! The Bible says that Peter took Jesus aside and began to rebuke him! In Peter's mind, how could their conquering king restore the kingdom if he was dead? They didn't see clearly. So Jesus again predicts his death in 9:30-32, and this time the disciples argue over who's the greatest in the kingdom. They didn't see clearly. Again for a third time Jesus predicts his death in 10:32-45, and this time James and John are playing politics, asking Jesus to give them the highest status! They still don't see clearly! Jesus ends this section saying, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many." Apparently the object lesson was over, or maybe Jesus just got tired of his disciples not getting it, so the next blind man he came across was healed on the "first try", which I think is not a coincidence. Simple Application: Are you seeing Jesus like a tree? Understanding is the marker of a disciple. Do you have understanding? Do you "perceive" the things that God is doing in your life, or the things He wants to do through your life? If it's as clear as mud, ask Jesus to help to help you see clearly!

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When will the truth that it's all about the heart ever settle into our hearts? When will we stop taking the truth of the heart to our heads to puff it up and make it seem more secure to outside observers? When will we be satisfied that grace really does cover us and stop working so hard for it? When will we be able to simply live in front of people without postulating the perfection that we think they expect from us? When we stop pretending and start living. Let's stop using the standards of self to determine what is right and wrong. Let's stop forcing agendas on to morality. Let's stop giving preferencial treatment to the things that are easily followed. Let's stop twisting words. Let's stop brutalizing context. Let's stop justifying death as another expression of life. Let's stop making fools of faith. Let's stop following the lead of those with the loudest voices. Let's stop searching for ways around a life submitted. Let's stop inventing a beautiful substitute experience. Let's stop focusing efforts on a presentable outside and replace the disgust of ruined life on the inside. Let's stop pretending, stop lying, stop faking, losing, dying, and start living.

The crippled nature of my existence is emersed in the subleties of my addictions. Every person, strong and weak, exists to defeat at least one divinely inspired test; and each person has developed an efficient ability to defeat in the strength of humanity. Both strong and weak make lists of victories and the occasional failure. The strong boast in their accolades and justify their greatness to be the resounding force of a righteousness achieved. The strong are proud and their names ring truer in their own minds than a thousand amens. The weak forge lists in the shame of failure and the disapproving glances of the sanctified. Victories one and two, but failures ten and a hundred dominate the verdict; apparent lack of power consumes the honesty of the weak, while the strong drown in the wake of their own beauty. Failures one and two, with victories ten and a hundred still deserve death. The standards of sucessfully producing a virtuous life are set on the system of a sin-sick society. The strong can justify life by the failures of the weak and the meritous exploits of achieving perfection, but the death will still come. Even though now I am strong...I am being crippled by the subleties of my addiction, and so this is my prayer...Inspire me to something of reality. Reach into me like you created the universe to do. Give to me the force that raised death to life. Let me be the creation that embraces the purpose of existence, but let me be pure in my pursuits. Callosed hearts don't happen by accident, and neither do passionate pursuits and encounters with you. Give death to the past, even the comforting thoughts of grace given. Let the life of your present presence grow in me until experience is equal to the life of concecration I die to you.

Some things aren't easily understood, like how we all think that we are infallible in our associations with others. Mostly, our lives, as applied socially, amount to nothing more than a collaboration of double standards that we selfishly ignore. Each man searches the path for an easier route, sometimes approaching dangerously close to the flames for a season to secure more ability to control some other person doing the exact same things, each of course suited with an impregnable amount of righteous determination. Rather than assume that most people are calculating and scheming to advance their allotted pawns, I'll merely state that it's the details magnified and mutliplied that pose the biggest threat; the small things, easily forgotten, but easily the foundational elements to any relationship. How someone handles and respects the details is how they endure the entirety of life. It's amusing to think that we can escape the mound of disrespected and mishandled details in our lives; to do so would require nothing less than death. Know that life is detail and the details of your life are not perfect, so don't expect perfection from others, or you will live a life of constant disappointment.

The cycle is the same as it has always been: a momentary grief of continued disobedience and the lack of a true desire to be real. Devotion has been in the context of fear of the supernatural, and emphasizing on the ability to reason and grow in knowledge. But, knowledge of divine things can only create a cynic when that knowledge is void of experience. Continued efforts of the same fabric hopefully won't hurt more than help. Why does experience evoke a response of indifference in a hesitant pursuer? Experience is one of teh most irrational and subjective abilities we have of testifying about divine things. People can convince their minds of all kinds of testimony that would prove the existence of even the most unreasonable entities ie. bigfoot and the lock-ness monster. But, there has to be a place for experience; we can't just eliminate all experience just because some experience is taken too far beyond the accepted limits of reason. It has to be valid for some things and maybe simply not more so than within the context of those who already share certain belief systems. Experience, however, cannot prove the existence of God and we really shouldn't ask it to. Experience can prove only the existence of faith, or belief, in God, and we should allow experience to grow in that arena, and not in the realm of proving or disproving God. Testimony might, however, be able to stand strong if it is a consistent chronicle of percieved divine interaction; afer all, we overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. But, experience cannot only be wrapped in the context of feeling better after a long bout with sin. It cannot be returning home after being deployed by self into the realms of a nature that at its very core stands opposed to divine things. There is a battle that is more fiercely contested than any mere loss of human life can comprehend and its casualties are all found in the soul of man, in the form of his sinful and spiritual nature. Experience must thrive in the light of the what is good, holy, and pleasing, otherwise it will not build a foundation of faith, but a foundation cracked with the subtleties of sin, which leads to death. This war is not like other wars; we fight eventhough it's already won. The enemy of our soul gives us the impression that somehow it's worth forfeiting victory to toil in the trenches. Why do we believe his lies so consistently? My prayer is simple: to allow my mind, my battlefield, to conquer the enemy's power to distort my ability to perceive, and thus experience, spiritual things.